I just thought you all would like to know that the NYC guy blew any chance he was supposed to get from me. Yesterday, on Valentine's day, this moron did not call me or send me an e-mail to wish me a Happy Valentine's day. --His ass is grass!
If a man demonstrates an interest in seeing me and getting to know me better, yet totally disregards doing a small detail such as calling or e-mailing me on that special day, then he is NOT the man for me. I LOVE men who are detailed with their women. Men, who know how to court a woman. Celebrating Valentine's day is a definite part of courtship. ---Gosh, what the hell has happened to chivalry, traditional courtship; what the hell has happened to men now a days???? I am utterly repulsed! It seems that men out there, regardless of age, are ALL jerks!!!!! Enough is enough, I should "throw in the towel."
Monday, February 14, 2005 :::
Happy Valentine's Day!
Hope that those of you fortunate enough to have a sweetheart are enjoying yourselves this special day. And to those of you like me without someone, be creative! By this I mean, celebrate by yourselves. Right now, I'm roasting a Perdue chicken in the oven, I also have candles lighting up my place and have essential oils aromatizing my studio apartment. Happy Valentine's Day to me, myself and I.
Well, I was in NYC this past weekend. I went there to meet up with a Match.com guy I'd spoken to for the entire week prior. Okay, so the guy behaved normal, he looked exactly like his photo, he is a big time metrosexual, and has a nice voice. He is well off, isn't cheap, definitely a sharp dresser (all the time--never wears jeans), and seems intelligent and ambitious. We spent all of Saturday together (2 dates with each other on the same day). --I guess things are good if you both agree to see each other twice in the same day. Anyhow, he is very much the gentleman. Okay, to make a long story short, at the end of the night, we made out...of course, he initiated, I merely followed. All was well until we kissed... Yes, his skills for kissing every part of the body is FANTASTICALLY appropriate. HOWEVER, when he kissed my mouth that's when I said to myself, "Houston, we've got a problem!!" Honestly, I didn't know what was going on. I had NEVER EVER, EVER been kissed that way. I was confused/weirded out. I did try to slow down his motion, something, but it didn't work. I was obviously not responding to him accordingly, but it seemed that he didn't want to interrupt his action, in order to ask me what was NOT going on. For some reason these 31 years of life, I've always thought there was a definite/conventional/socially acceptable way to kiss somebody. But I guess I was SUPER wrong. Hmmm? Upon time to go home, I couldn't hold back to ask him if he always kissed that way. I told him that he was all up in there just about gobbling me up (except in reality it was his tongue that he continued to try to shove all the way in my mouth; so basically i had no room to move my tongue anywhere because his occupied the entire space in my mouth). Can you imagine having Gene Simmons from KISS french kiss you that way...well, that's how I freaking felt that night. --Honestly, it even repulsed me somewhat. I kept on trying to leave, but he didn't want to let me go. So on Sunday, I was debating over whether or not I would see this guy again. I was really confused, full of mixed emotions, so I called my best friend T from CT. He is my confidant, a great listener and gives me unbiased advise and suggestions. So I told T about my dilemma. T then told me that because I like many things from this guy, that I should give it a second chance. He told me that alike sexual intercourse, couples can instruct each other on what they like or dislike about the act of kissing. All in all, I decided to give the guy a chance. After all, I was very reluctant, skeptical, distrusting about the meeting this weekend. And now that most of it went well, I think I am looking for excuses to sabotage what could perhaps turn out to be a good thing. Why? Because I too, am VERY, VERY AFRAID of a serious commitment. I don't even know if I'm ready for it. ---Shit, the idea of playing around with the young ones around here had started seeming so convenient...no strings attached. Now, I've got this guy, who is financially stable and claims to be ready for a serious relationship that acording to him will hopefully lead to marriage. The last time I was afraid of a guy's expectations of me, after my mom helped me get over my temporary phobia of commitment and told me to just give the guy a try, I ended up in a serious relationship for about 3 years. Seriously, I am scared of being known as someone's girlfriend, AND have to own up to saying I have a boyfriend. It freaks me out.
I plan to give this guy a chance, so we will see what happens from here on.
Quote of the Day: Shed the fear, step into the unknown!
Hope all of you are well.
Okay, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Yes, that is just another day to rub in the face of those of us, who don't have a special someone(s) in our lives to share it with. Nice, as if we hadn't suffered enough from New Year's Eve a little over a month ago!!!
Okay, so lately I've been chatting with a few guys via e-mail. I never met them, and I'm not sure I want to, even though I've seen their so-called photos. It's funny how I can distinguish a guy who's looking for a relationship from one who simply wants to get laid right away, just by noticing how fast he suggests we go away together for a weekend, or how fast he brings up sexually compromising dates, and concentrates on talking about my body. ---Those are the men, I plan to stay away from. They are scary to me. A man who immediately shows that the only thing they have in their mind is sex is a total turn-off to me. I mean, please be strategic, use your brain, at least hold your true intentions back until you've gone out with the person a few times.
Anyhow, out of 8 guys that I've been chatting with, here are the results of my impressions about them. These were based on a pass/fail system.
Candidate #1: A momma's boy, only child, hates crowds hence big cities, and seems to be lying about his occupation. Score: Failed
Candidate #2: Has a crew cut (reminds me of the military gym teacher that appeared on Beavis and Butthead cartoon. He used to repeatedly asks the boys, "kick me in the jimmy!!!") He asked to meet me too soon for my comfort zone. Score: Failed
Candidate #3: Older man, looking to get laid quickly, gave me two phone numbers to contact him from his initial email, and has repeatedly suggested for us to chat on the phone. Score: Failed
Candidate #4: Older man, seems way too wired on his e-mails, noticeable desperation. Score: Failed
Candidate #5, 6, 7: Guys e-mailing me without noticeable desperation, comfortable at composing "getting to know you" e-mails. Score: Pass
Candidate #8: A guy who's HOT, HOT, HOT, e-mailing me without noticeable desperation, comfortable at composing "getting to know you" e-mails. Score: Pass
Recently, I realized that I have a crush on my Italian friend. We met and befriended each other in FL, while I was on a temporary job assignment at the company he works for. Except, he normally works at the headquarters in Italy, not at the FL branch. He visits the FL branch randomly, on a per technical issue basis. While he was in FL, I flirted with him discreetly; however, he is a shy guy, so unless I sat on his lap, he wouldn't have noticed my flirtation. Anyhow, we've been chatting via IM almost on a daily basis since he returned to Italy. We talk about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING including crushes, heartbreaks, sadness, difficulties, etc. We give each other advise and encouragement. ---This is an awesome friendship!!! Plus the fact that I find him handsome and he finds me attractive, is an added bonus. However, our only hinderance is the thousands of miles that keep us away.
I have known him since mid July and to now realize my feelings for him have developed, SUCKS!!! Again, because of the distance factor.
He is so sweet, sensitive and a true gentleman. Mmm, damn! Why can't I find that here???
He is my long distance best friend. I already have enough frequent flier miles to take a free trip to Italy, but what stops me from doing so is my PACKED and HECTIC scholastic schedule.
Then again, let's analyze this potential trip...
What the hell will I gain by going over there, now that I know how I feel about him? I'd be setting myself up for SURE HEARTBREAK because if we were to become close during my 2-3 weeks vacation there, I will still need to return back to my reality back in the U.S. I don't believe in long distance relationships, I mean get real!! That would be a real long distance relationship and what good is that to have someone, who you can't be with at any time; someone, who you need a passport to visit?
So I should just put my feelings in a box and simply store them away like an antique trinket you delicately save.
Now, on another note, I recently found out who the hell was Mr. Pervert caller...or at least where the calls were coming from. Yes, because I became so frustrated with the continued calls, that I involved my cellphone company and the local authorities to conduct a trace on the calls. AND TO MY SURPRISE, the calls came from my childhood friend's house in Texas. How is that for a whopper! Yes, so now what I'm not certain of is whether it was her boyfriend, her boyfriend's teenaged son or if my friend aided and abbeted the entire thing?
I payed $20 for the call trace, in order to have peace of mind and be sure that it wasn't one of the guys that I had recently dated. I am at ease that it came from her house, but as much as I dwell on the thought of how annoyed I'd been over the past month, I can't believe my friend would still be so immature to prank me that way (assuming she was involved).
Ay caramba! That's how the cookie crumbles.
Okay, I think that is enough for now. I am starving!
Quote of the day: What are you afraid of? Take a chance...you only live once!!
